I Removed 200 LinkedIn Connections

BLASPHEMY!

I know… It’s a little bit strange to be doing this, and admitting it out loud in today’s climate. I’ll talk a little bit about why I did it, as well as sharing some of the things that I paid attention to while I was doing the removals.

HOW COULD YOU??

Yup. To paraphrase Simon Sinek’s so eloquently stated approach: I’ll start with the why.

As I see it, there are 3 main reasons to have a LinkedIn contact. I’ll talk about those below, along with why I removed contacts in line with those reasons.

1. For Posterity

May seem a little dubious, and it should. I think most of the people who indiscriminately collect contacts on LinkedIn are doing it for bragging rights. They may not actively brag about the number of connections they have. But the primary purpose of 500+ connections for most people is simply so that they’ll look good if anyone ever happens to peek at their profile.

Does this apply to me?

YES! I want to look good too! I want people to be impressed with me when they look at my profile. I want them to see things they like, admire, and trust. So… Why did you remove your connections? Well, we’ll get to that. But if this item on the list was my sole consideration, I wouldn’t have removed them!

2. For Business

Seems strange to put this at number 2 on the list, since LinkedIn is specifically created in order to facilitate this. Right? Well… Sort of. Let’s keep in mind that the resume existed LONG before LinkedIn. And simple digital resumes existed before LinkedIn as well. So contacts for business didn’t require a platform. I’d argue that the platform grew not because of the business connections, but because you could use it as a tool “to brag” about your business connections. Yes, this item is number 2 on my list because it’s actually the second in the list of importance.

Does this apply to me?

YES! YES!! I DEFINITELY need to have strong business connections. Every aspect of my professional life leans on my connections. As a Consultant, any time there’s a problem I can’t solve, I lean into my network and get help. As a Startup Mentor, I am OFTEN asked to help fill critical hire roles, or source high quality trusted service providers. My network makes that possible. As a speaker, my network makes it possible to find and get onto stages. And my recently added Coaching draws clients entirely from my network. Again: so far we haven’t uncovered a reason to pare down my network.

3. To Connect

In this case, it’s not for the numbers. It’s for the interactions. Real, human connections. Conversations, ideas, thoughts. Sharing and caring. Seem old-fashioned? Well, ask yourself this: does your time on Social Media give you fulfillment? If not, this may be one of the missing links. There’s a reason the “Social” part of Social Media comes first. If it’s not social to you, then it’s likely not serving you.

Does that apply to me?

This is actually more important to me these days than the first 2 reasons. I ranked it 3rd because I believe most people probably rank it third themselves. I find that I require connection. I require interaction. I’ve come to realize that if you’re a contact of mine, I need you to be actively engaged in me. I am a thoughtful, vocal person who shares opinions, approaches, ideas, content, and the same from other people in my network. I do this to share value, but also to engage and drive engagement. Yes, I expect that some of that engagement will lead to business, and it does. But more importantly, I simply want to feel like a human. I want to be seen, to be heard, to be challenged. AND: I want the same for you. I want to engage you, and for you to be engaging me intellectually, socially, and professionally, IN THAT ORDER.

This is the reason that drove me to remove contacts. Simply put: if we’re not engaging each other, then you’re out.

Now that we know the why, let’s take a peek at some of the things that I noticed while I was conducting the purge:

I don’t know you.

Almost all of the contacts that I removed have been connections for between 6 months and 2 years. This is PLENTY long enough for you to have started building a relationship with me. You could do it directly, by engaging on chat. Or you could engage indirectly, by sharing valuable content; your own, or other people’s. At this point, if I still don’t know you, it’s safe to say that you’ve failed miserably at that primary edict of being a “connection” — even if it is here on LinkedIn. If you’re not making an effort at all to be of value, then I don’t want you cluttering up my digital rolodex. Remember: I actually use my contacts; I share opportunities posts, I post opportunities, I share content (my own, and other people’s), I ask for help, and myriad other ways I look to engage. Often my content is generally available, in post forma, to everyone in my network. I also often go direct, when I can, if it’s in integrity. And the more contacts I have in my digital rolodex, the more specific I need to be when I’m looking for someone. That costs ME work.

To a finer point on it: being in my contacts list has a tangible cost to me (additional specificity in using my network means additional work), and I need you to provide value in order to justify that cost.

I DO know you, and you’ve never once provided me value.

Or, worse than not providing value — you’re an insistent sales spammer. What’s an “insistent sales spammer”? This astonishingly annoying sales technique looks like: a copy/paste message, and then follow up a day or two later with another copy/paste message beginning with something like “I noticed you didn’t respond” followed by exactly the same as the previous message.

Sales people… I hire them in my businesses, so I’m quite familiar with the currently accepted sales tactics and approaches. Many of them have been poorly trained, overall, to believing that “it’s just a numbers game” is actually the right approach to sales. Copy/Paste sales-blast messaging is a low-value touchpoint at best. Aside from being annoying, and since I employ sales people, let me share a little about why this is a poor approach: low-quality AI has been out for a while now. If you as a sales person are only interested in low-value touchpoints, you will VERY SOON BE ENTIRELY OUT OF A JOB. AI can do all low-value touchpoints faster and cheaper than humans. It’s only more expensive right now because the businesses providing it are trying to charge you at the headcount reduction rate. That won’t last. Also, it’s spam. Read the LinkedIn Terms and Conditions — each time you send a copy/paste sales-blast message, you actually open yourself up to being reported and having your profile shut down by LinkedIn. I don’t know that this is actively happening yet, but it will eventually. Why? As I said above: it has a tangible cost to me for you to be in my network. And this realization will proliferate. More and more of the professionals and business owners who actively use their network will start to realize that connection-spam is a horrible waste of time. And time is money.

There are some risks…

I’ve accepted some risks in paring down my network. Prior to the purge, I had broken a key “social proof” milestone of 1000 connections. Now that I’m done, I’m again below that number. This does, in fact, make me “less than” to some of the people who will review my profile. I may lose some business opportunities. I may miss out on some valuable content that some of those people might share. I mean… They haven’t yet. But they may! FOMO is real.

On the other hand, I’ve discovered that my values are not quite in line with the values of the platform. “Social proof” is not actually the most important thing to me. I don’t need the posterity of big numbers. I value a real, human connection above that. I value shared memories of former co-workers. I value people who respond to my content. I value people who wish me “Happy Birthday” when LinkedIn informs them that it’s my birthday. To me, those things are FAR more important than the posterity of having a lot of contacts.

And I’ve chosen to live in integrity with my values.